Depressed Israeli living in Canada

Dear Golda #3: How do I beat the depression I'm battling since October 7th?

Jul 01, 2024

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Dear Golda,

I’ve been feeling depressed ever since Hamas attacked Israel on October 7th by the constant stream of terrible news and the world’s unfair reaction to the attack.

I am a native born Israeli, but I have been living in Canada for the past 4 years for a work assignment and I am not planning on returning home for a few more years.

I don’t seem able to snap out of it. When I do find something I enjoy for a brief moment, I feel guilty. How can I dig out of this rut?

-Depressed Canadian Sabra

Good morning Depressed, thank you for writing into Maccabee nation.

For readers who may not know, sabra is a term for native Israelis. Sabras are prickly pears that are thorny on the outside and sweet on the inside, which tends to describe most Israelis pretty well.

You’re certainly not alone in battling depression right now.

Dealing with variations of depression, anxiety, and anger has been a common questions we’ve received the past few months. Israelis abroad face additional challenges too being far away from family and friends, which can amplify these feelings further.

Although everyone is different, let me tell you what’s been working for me. I made up this acronym L.E.V., which means heart (❤️) in Hebrew, and stands for Laugh, Exercise, and Volunteer. This helps remind me to stay on top of these three areas, which has helped improve my own mental state.

Laugh: Try to find something that will make you smile and giggle a few times a week. Even though many of the editorials I write are about dark topics, I try to insert some humor and to find the bright side when I can.

Laughing has been proven to relieve stress by increasing oxygen to the body and improving heart health. It’s can also help strengthen social bonds when you can find humor with a friend or significant other.

Below is a link to a comedy special with Alex Edelman I watched a month ago with my wife when we were both feeling pretty glum that cheered us up a bit. Give it a shot or find something more your speed. Just find a way to break the tension.

It sounds cliche, but our enemies really do win if we curl up into a ball and stop living our lives joyfully.

Exercise: This one is self explanatory, and honestly has been very difficult for me to stay on top of myself with kids and work and other hobbies. That said, I’ve recently started going back to the gym, and although it’s early, it’s felt really good to get more active again. The key for me has been to get up very early and knock it out before work, but you need to find what works for you and your schedule.

A lot of our mental state is tied to our physical health and what we eat. Find a likeminded friend if you need an accountability partner. Even just committing to going for a few extra walks a week can make a really big difference.

Volunteer: Find your people. You’ve probably figured out by now that mainly other Jews really understand how you’re feeling right now so seek out Jews and Israelis where you can find them. Even if you’re not religious, get active in something at your local Jewish community center. By getting more involved in your town’s Jewish life you’ll increase the opportunities you have to connect with people who understand what you’re going through.

If you don’t live in an area with a sizeable Jewish community, consider finding groups online you can meet up with, or even potentially moving to a place where you can be more connected to other Jews if you feel like that part of your life is missing.

One of the best way to feel better is to get off your butt and do something meaningful that will give you purpose. Usually these days for me it’s managing this blog when I can, whether that’s writing an editorial, or interviewing someone doing good in our community and giving them a platform to spread their message.

When I was feeling really depressed, I was also fortunate to be able to take some a few weeks off work and went to Israel to volunteer. It was good to feel like I could contribute something small and I got to connect with some old friends and family.

To be candid, this all feels like very little compared to the sacrifices so many people are making in Israel right now everyday, but sometimes lots of small acts can add up to a big positive impact. It’s easy to be cynical right now, but try to resist the urge that nothing we can do will make a difference because it can.

Find ANYTHING you’re passionate about, even if it’s not related to your Jewishness or Israel. Adopt a cat, become a Big Brother or Sister, etc. Just find something bigger then yourself that you enjoy and start working on it.

If you need extra help from a professional, get it!

If you’re severely depressed and having thoughts about self-harm or suicide you may need more hands-on help. Contact 988, which is the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline in the U.S. or find the help you need locally wherever you are. As Noam Zimmerman spoke about in our interview about IDF paramedics battling PTSD, there should be no shame or stigma when it comes to mental health issues.

Maccabee Nation

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